teh tws of miie

Feast for thoughts! (:

2011-07-04T12:46:00.004+08:00

These are a couple of pharases i kept. Some of them makes sense, most of them wont. Ive seperated them under Original, Extract, Me and others. Btw, Originals came from Inspiration i've gotten from the world, Me is after thoughts, and Extract are gotten from another source. Enjoy!

(Original)
A small issue becomes a major road block in life when one or more parties are stubborn, unwilling to accept the situation and posses conflicting ideas, while trying to impose conditions and restrictions on each other. Solution : Stop living in denial and start accepting life as it is in its present state, for the only light you can find is from within yourself. (:
(Me)
This came about when i felt stuck in a rut, and then, with help of friends, i realise that certain things in life, are they really worth fighting for? Do i always have to be right? Must i really be the one to make everyone happy? All these things, they were the cause of my sadness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Original)
There's much behind your happy facade that I'm unaware of. Like, why you paint up a smile for all those who never care. When you reach out your hand, was it to save a life? Or was it find your escape? This is when curiosity kills the cat, the mind failed.
(Me)
People don't want to get fix- they just want acceptence to live in their very own rutted, special way. Who bought the rights to say a person is broken, anyway?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Dictionary)
escapism : a mental diversion; helping to forget; providing a means of forgetting about everyday or unpleasant realities for a while ; the avoidance of reality by absorption of the mind in entertainment or in an imaginative situation, activity, etc; an escape from reality or routine. -food for thought!(:
(Me)
this is what i do best, guilty of charge. its a bad habbit, and i intend to rid of it, as soon as i know how!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Original)
The innocence of a person is never truly lost. One just needs to sincerely forgive and whole-heartedly accept the facts that has been place on the other party. When a person is labeled, it is like bearing a tatoo for life, on that person's blindsight , or it could also be a sticker that can be removed with the help of others. (:
(Me)
This one has personal stories behind them, and i dont really intend to blurt people's secret out here. Go figure!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Original/Extract)
If The choices You make now is going to affect the next 40 years of your life, will you give a damn and do something about it today?
(Me)
Well, im telling you now, the choices you made yesterday have brought you here, today. And the deciding factor to bring you there tomorrow, is in your hands, now. 15 seconds ago, to be exact. (:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Extract)
Miracles and Good lucks dont just happen. Miracles come to those who asked and worked hard for it!
(Me)
This is for those who just sits down, and ask God, why life sucks so bad. Everything else is self explanatory.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
‎(Original)
I'll draw this 4 lines on the ground below me.
Then ill repeat the lines again and again,
at my front, back, sides and top, to form this cube.
And that is enough, to keep me from falling further into the darkness.
(Me)
Oh my life saver x3 . This has verse has protected me many times from losing my grip on reality. Think of a bubble, then think yourself entering the said bubble. Now, if someone iresponsible tries to throw hurt at you, just think of the bubble. They cannot hurt you, cos your not going to let them into your bubble, anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Original)
The Green-Eyed Monster- a petty human emotion thats looks at every little thing with a materialistic value and gets angry&disgusted with everything it never gets to owns. In moderation, it is good, for it drives a person to reach greater heights for oneself, but too much of it is self-destructive and will ruin a person's relationship with others.
(Me)
So, have you been seeing green lately?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Original)
How do you deal with karma that gives back nothing you did good, but repays back everything you did bad? :(
(Karen)
"Deal with it by thinking good luck never exist in the world and suck thumb"
(Me)
At first i thought she was being sarcastic, but thinking about it again, there is truth is her answer. Lowered expectations = lesser dissapointments. Suck Thumb? I've learned that skill since i was a baby. haha. ;D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Original)
Somewhere inbetween the lines,
I've lost you, my dearest and closest friend.
I would never blame you for trying to protecting yourself,
For I am only blaming myself for not making you feel safe and protected.
Fair enough, that is my downfall, my shameful misstep,
a grassy patch where the sun will never come to shine, ever again.
(Me)
This lesson is ouch. Trust me, that grassy patch is still dead now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Original)
In this reality of defects, both wanting to be with each other, made them Picture Perfect.
(Me)
Couples and Relationships. There are tons of it in this world. Most of them are made in haste or mistake. But to the few that are sincere, i thank you, for your proving to me that my dreams are real and achievable. One look at a sincere couple, and you can tell they love each other. As compared to someone who gets into relationships for other reasons, Picture Ruin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Original)
If One day can make a difference in a person's life, don't even bother talking about an age gap, thanks!
(Me)
It pisses me off to no extend when people use age as an excuse to do/not to do certain things. I mean, 2 years serving in peace time does not carry the same worth as 1 week serving as a young soldier/civilian in the battlefield. Age is about mind over matter, if nobody minds, then it never matters!

Thats all for now. I hope this manages to entertain you as much as it did for me! (:

The Indifferent One

2011-07-04T12:39:00.002+08:00

It is life's tragedy for one to be indifferent and miss out on beneficial opportunities that has been offered. And its even more tragic when that indifferent one, knowing the situation, decides to continue being different and dreams of love and other great things, an outcast heart would desires. The indifferent one smiled, for the heart was happy, chasing dreams that hopefully, would one day turn reality.

Everyone laughed at the indifferent one for losing out, as they savagely reap the pleasures of life. However, the indifferent one doesn't care, the indifferent one doesn't gives a shit. For the outcast heart was happy, the shoulders light from responsibilities and the price that comes after pleasure. Being true to the outcast heart, that was what really matter to the indifferent one.

The indifferent one's strong mind knew that to statisfy the outcast heart's desire, the strong mind needed to have personal freedom. Loneliness was a familiar feeling to the indifferent one. To fill the void, the strong mind began loving everyone and everything, for those who walk the path of love, will never walk alone. The outcast heart smiled, knowing the indifferent one would be loved, for that was what matters.

This is a story of a person, who strives to be different, not to serve oneself, but to serve the Higher self in this world. And through this different point of view, inspiration, creativity and an artisic mind would be bestowed to that indifferent one. You may or may not relate to this, because its something only certain people would achieve in life.

As a cup full of sadness will not have enough space to take in happiness.

2011-07-04T11:50:00.002+08:00

"There is nothing to forgive," Death replies. "Mourning is natural and you must deal with your loss before you can accept anything new. Keep in mind, however, that old leaves must wither and fly away from a tree's branches, leaving them bare, before new green leaves can appear."

-Extract

From what i see, Death says Hello to yesterday, the past and the everything that has ended against one's wish- so that one's suffering will not last forever. Because time will past and even ghosts will be shown towards their proper resting place- and that is what will keep me alive through all this @#!@#. I figured that Death, is not necessarily must be a bad thing. It may not mean the death of a person, for it could also mean the death of an idea, feelings, relationships and what has past. In a way, it ends a person suffering. When one door closes, another door will open and through that, new beginings will be made. Change will take place.

Dreams From Yesterday.

2011-07-04T10:03:00.002+08:00

Even my dreams,
You began to invade.
As the tears streams,
Rusting this broken blade.

Behind the mask,
A childish curious facade.
With the biggest smile and ask,
How did our problems escalade?

You the high magician,
Enticing the entire court.
Like Merlin a patrician,
Your spells are never short.

But Me the drown clown,
These words come unsound.
Like the fool who learns to frown,
Your magic spells- in time i will unbound.

I’m waking up to the trumpets,
Telling me to move on.
For this rhyme- for this offsets,
I’m telling you this- shine on.

-Me(:

I used the inspiration i got from a past experience and a waking dream to compose this. Its such a shame to have woken up from it though. Still, i dont feel bad much, cos i wouldn't be able to compose this, if i didnt wake up, anyway.

Hello world again!

2011-07-04T09:46:00.001+08:00

I dont update this blog regularly,
But I find a need to keep important memories in check.
Thats why you will find that updates,
comes in intervals of a few days, months or even years.
haha. will be posting up poems/pharases ive made from the previous month.
till then,

WATCH THIS SPACE!! ]:)

Heres a sample,

A Childhood Toy.

With a story anew,
Nobody saw how it will end.
Nor anybody knew,
how the soul will bend.

It feels good to be a puppet,
Moving only when my strings are pull.
Being toyed around like a muppet,
Madly charging around like a bull.

As dawn explodes,
Even metal turns to rust.
And when worlds implodes,
Even bone turns to dust.

Today I woke up and met dismay,
A story of love turns to hate.
Like a childhood toy being thrown away,
And this life- i'm finally resigning to fate.

-Me(:

This is a poem of a person, who lives life as a puppet. Seeking only to make other happy, moving only when told. Then one day, the person gets abbandon and thrown away due to lack of ambition- a puppet has no heart in reality. Its a sad life, infact.

lvl200 mega ^^

2009-09-28T01:24:00.002+08:00

dreams.

2009-07-24T19:34:00.004+08:00

i dont know why im feeling so depressed these days.
the feeling is soo fugged up!
every single bit of it disgust me.
staring down at myself, I KNOW IT ALL.
CAN I JUST BREAK DOWN AND CRY!?

memory lane.

2009-07-18T22:40:00.002+08:00

the trip down memory lane,
has always been a bad experience for me.
i was the one experimenting,
keep on toying with people's feeling.
now, every little clue triggers that feeling again.
especially on face book. =\
that's why i always feel undeserving of life's pleasure.
my sins can't be undone.

on the brighter side,
my fever has subsided.
from 38.7-> 36.5. hahas.
all thanks to mom's heal technique ;D
im still on doctor's medicine though.
the painkillers are good.
they put me in deep sleep.
wont have to care for a single thing in the world when im sleeping (:

i remember back then,
during breakdance.
we would all spam painkillers,
just before session =x
wont hurt us too much when we fall.
but if cos, the aftereffects are invertible,
we would regret that afterwards. haha.

haiz, those were the days.
i really enjoy and missed em.
-rashid

i need a hand to hold.

2009-07-17T18:35:00.002+08:00

mm. today i woke up in the middle of the afternoon.
it was a sweet dream. i was holding her hand tight.
when suddenly i woke up.

i found my hand gripping nothing but air.
it took my awhile to know that shes not there though.
my first reaction was to get out of bed, and rush to her side.
then i realise that she's in malaysia. lol...

hais , its a sad dream la ):
sweet happiness vs cruel reality.
will my suffering ever end?
why do i have to sacrifice,
only to find that i have to sacrifice even more.
and it never ends, it never ends.

-will my nitemare ever end?
-i love the way, she loves me free<33

burning up-

2009-07-16T21:54:00.004+08:00

hello thr! =]
im not feeling well at the moment.
my whole body was shivering when i woke up.
standing up was worst- my whole body was shaking violently. ><
i found that my body temp was at 38.1 °C.
thats dangerous. normally, its 37.5 °C for a normal fever.

so i went to see the doctors instead.
over here, my temp increase to 38.7 °C
my mind KO already here.
had to stone for ard 40mins,
before its my turn to see the doctor.

during the consultation~
doctor said that,
you have running nose, sore throat and fever.
as you know, these are the symptoms of h1n1 =x
lol ! but i dont think im infected ahh.
just need alot of rest, and regular medicine.

after that, he gave me a 1 week mc.
i was like wtf, i got paper next week !
doctor :
this is a recommendation from the Health Ministry Board.
do not leave the house.
-,- sian man.

anw, shes very busy and stressed out today.
dont think i will kacau her for the time being =x
i cnt think straight when im under the weather too. T_T
later tersilap bahase =\

ok thats it.
i cnt find a song for tonite,
really exhausted uhh.

i love the way you makes me feel, when im with you <33
your mine ;D

for someone<3

2009-07-16T01:13:00.003+08:00

quiet rabbits-

2009-07-15T23:46:00.003+08:00

15th July 2009

she works so hard,
it pains me to see her in such a state. T_T
Dear God, please help her.

mm. nothing much to say bout school.
found out that im doing Final Year Project (FYP) first,
instead of Industrial Attachment Programme (IAP).

Theres good points and bad points to this.
The good points~ after FYP,
i dont have to go back to school animore,
except to collect my cert.
The bad news, no income till 4mths later.
zzz, i havent been working since feb!
plus ive been betting that ill get IAP first.
instead, i tio Study Path + FYP path first.
my finance is really screwed.
sians.

on the bright side, maple is lagging pretty badly,
means i wont log in much too.
also means, more time to study! :D
booyah ! wahahaha.
other than that, im enjoying my life.
its cosy! ^^V

todays word for thought is naivety !
having or showing a lack of experience,
judgment, or information; credulous.
idk why~ but i like to use that word to suan people =X
shhh~

lastly~
i love this song.
sort of spooky feeling,
but the meaning is deep.
very deep.
sweet dreams =]

"I Will Follow You Into The Dark"

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
'cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

-praying for the best(:

in the middle of the night-

2009-07-15T03:59:00.004+08:00

14th July Tuesday.

mmm. lets see. sleep at 5, i woke at 9.10.
Anatomy and Physiology was the first lesson today.
teacher said there's a change in class venue,after the term break.
naturally, i forgot where it was -.-
plus i change my phone, and all my friends numbers were lost.
so i went to e learning plaza and chat with Jackie instead xD
therefore, i starting playing face book. T_T

mm, we didn't chat much today.
there's many many many things on my mind.
Argh ~ I'm spacing out!
in the end i bought a mic + headset for internet chat~
can't wait to use them this Saturday! :D
its pretty inconvenient to watch an online movie,
and have to type at the same time, trust me ^^

on the bad side,
i feel myself closing in.
hiding in a shell. ):
have no idea why.
a crab hides in its shell,
when it feels threatened.
same here i guess. ><

today's word for thought is intuition.
I've always trust my intuition.
its a good thing, its a bad thing.
making the right guess is good,
but guessing for the rest of your life is bad.

Open Happiness

"Your heart deserves your trust
A choice made for all of us
The sun will come back tomorrow
Theres a message in a bottle
So come on Ill meet you there
Theres enough sunshine to share
As long as you know
The bridge between us is a rainbow"

worried bout her-

click clack , thats that ! :D

2009-07-13T23:36:00.003+08:00

13th July Monday

i love the way she always brighten up my day<3 ~

HI! :D
alrite, so i said ill be updating this blog regularly.
mm, todays the first day of school, after 1 month's break.
it was suppose to be 2 weeks only,
but due to H1N1, it got extended.
i slept at 7am, and woke at 9.10am =X
bleach is addictive!! crap!

its not soo bad uh.
was writing an sms to saling,
but got intercepted by her half way.
Lol. crap. we're talking again,
and thats good. (:
ill do my best this time round,
and take care of you good. ^^

nothing much happened today,
sleep through most of it.
aiya, wheres my Points Of Focus!
it feels like im drifting apart x,x~
wooooooo~

on the brighter side,
i havent been seriously mapling for the past 3 days.
good thing ben is thr to take charge.
ill resume taking care of the guild on tuesday.
been having bad headaches lately.
guess i havent been gettin enough rest. =\

also, food for my thoughs-
the word promise,
its meaning seems soo.. surreal.
like impossible. ill find its real meaning soon.
irritating bugger. lol.

till then~ ill show you a sweet dream tonight<3

loving her(: -

Natasha Bedingfield - Angel

"Just like a shadow
I’ll be beside you
I’ll be your comfort
I’m there to guide you home
I will provide you
A place of shelter"

say no more.

2009-07-13T02:57:00.004+08:00

well.. thats another 5 days ,
till i get to spend time with her again.
why must the price of happiness be so steep,
i will never understand.
the soul shall be sacrifice and suffered,
to see the heart smile.

at least, im happy =]
hais.. its never fair..

Never Be Replace
1st Ladi

"I love you, yes I do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until (until) the end (the end) of time

From the day I met you I knew we'd be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you, and I wanna have your kids
It can never compare to the feeling of your kisses

I can say I'm truly happy to this day
You've made me thank God that I live my life everyday
There's never been a doubt, in my mind
That I regret ever having you by my side

But if the day comes that I have to let you go
I think there's something I should probably let you know
Enjoy everyday, that I spend with you
And I will miss you cause I'm happy that I had you at all "

and tonite, i wished you a sweet dream =]

n i never learn

2009-07-12T18:27:00.003+08:00

i never learn.
i never learn.
ive seen this all before.
i never learn.
i never learn.

the acct has already been handed over,
and the meso already converted to real cash.
the more i log in, the more hurt it makes me feel.
its never meant to hurt this way..
its a 2 way thing.
i neglected, fine.
i trusted again..
and..
i..
never..
felt..
more..
alone...

why did you came back, when everything was gone.
i thought i meant something to you.
guess i was wrong.

wont speak.

2009-07-12T07:01:00.002+08:00

Hurt-
christina aguilera

"If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you"

i hate myself.
i hate hate hate.
Hate!
HAte!!
HATe!!!
HATE!!!

thanks.

2009-07-11T18:33:00.000+08:00

as these hands cover the ears.

2009-07-11T00:38:00.002+08:00

Artist: The Script

Song: Before The Worst

It's been a while since the two of us talked
About a week since the day that you walked
Knowing things would never be the same
With your empty heart and mine full of pain

So explain to me, How it came to this
Let's take it back to the night that we kissed
It was Dublin city on a Friday night
With vodkas and coke, I was (...)

We were sitting with our backs against the world
Saying things that we thought but never heard
Who would have thought it would end up like this?

But everything we talked about is gone
And the only chance we have of moving on
Was trying to take it back before it all went wrong

Before the worst
Before we met
Before our hearts decided it's time to love again
Before today
Before too long
Let's try and take it back before it all went wrong

There was a time that we'd stay up all night
Best friends, yeah, talking til the daylight
Took the joys alongside the pain
With not much to lose but so much to gain

Are you hearing me? Cz I don't wanna miss
That you would drift on memory bliss
It was Grafter street, on a rainy night
I was down on one knee and you were mine for life

We were thinking we would never be apart
With your name tattooed across my heart
Who would have thought it would end up like this?

But everything we talked about is gone
And the only chance we have of moving on
Was trying to take it back before it all went wrong

Before the worst
Before we met
Before our hearts decided it's time to love again
Before today
Before too long
Let's try and take it back before it all went wrong

i dont know what to feel already.
seriously. shoot me.
i w a n t o d i e a l r e a d y

dull

2009-07-10T13:26:00.002+08:00

Paramore — That's What You Get

No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore.
It's your turn, to take a seat we're settling the final score.
And why do we like to hurt, so much?

I can't decide
You have made it harder just to go on
And why?
All the possibilities...
Well I was wrong

That's what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa!
That's what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa...
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.
And that's what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa.

I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here.
'Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here.
I still try... holding onto silly things, I never learn.
Oh why? All the possibilities. I'm sure you've heard.

That's what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa!
That's what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa..
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.
And that's what you get when you let your heart win. Whoa.

Pain, make your way to me. (to me)
And I'll always be just so inviting.
If I ever start to think straight,
This heart will start a riot in me,
Let's start... Start, hey!

Why do we like to hurt so much?
Oh why do we like to hurt so much?

That's what you get when you let your heart win!
Whoa.

That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.

I can't trust myself with anything but this,

And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.

nightmare song

2009-07-07T16:03:00.003+08:00

The Wind Blow
All American Rejects

I've got to breathe
You can't take that from me
Cause it's all that you left that's mine
You had to leave
And that's all i can see
But you told me your love was blind

There are times
You're so impossible that i should sign a waiver
And you will find
Someone worth walking on when you ask me to go
I'll leave when the wind blows
Take a breath and there it goes
I'll be outside of your window
I'll pass by but i'll go slow
I'll leave when the wind blows

There was a day
You threw our love away
Then you passed it to someone new
You wanna stay
But since you wanna play
We can finally say we're through

There are times you're so impossible and you ask me to go

I'll leave when the wind blows
Take a breath and there it goes
I'll be outside of your window
I'll pass by but i'll go slow
I'll leave when the wind blows

You can scream there's just echoes
Pass outside of your window
You'll be sad that you let me go
I'll leave but just know

As i lay in solitude
Oh what's a boy supposed to do
I shake the very thought of you
Me together, i remember
Late nights when i stayed up late
All i do is wait and wait
You're never coming home to me
That's the hardest thing to see

I got to breathe
You can't take that from
We can finally say we're through

I'll leave when the wind blows
Take a breath and there it goes
I'll be outside of your window
I'll pass by but i'll go slow
I'll leave when the wind blows

You can scream there's just echoes
Pass outside of your window
You'll be sad that you let me go
On every face you'll ever know
And everywhere you ever go

You'll feel when the wind blows

weekly schedule!

2009-05-21T22:17:00.002+08:00

okays. so the patch isnt ready yet.
thought i list my schedule for my week here.

Mon
11am-5pm : school.
7pm-midnite : Dual horn tail. | 1st sashi's reg 2nd snow profit.

Tuesday
9am-4pm :school.
12midnite-2am : horn tail | dora's reg (staying in cave).

Wednesday
10am-3pm :school.
7pm-9pm :horn tail. | luto's profit (continue from cave).

Thursday
8am-1pm :school.
10pm-3am :Dual horn tail. | 1st fury's reg 2nd seckie's profit.

Friday
11am-5pm :school.
1030pm-1230 :horn tail. | Clubbers reg/profit. (stay in cave).

Saturday
930am-noon :horn tail. | Guildless reg. (continue from cave).

Sunday
630pm-0000 :Dual horn tail. | 1st sashi reg 2nd dora's profit.

thats bout 5 reg, 5 profit.
busy life eh!
havent include pb! ><

the end.

2009-05-11T01:37:00.000+08:00

All this time I was wasting
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down

And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again
But not this time around

You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore

And you can say that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, no, no

Looking so innocent
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold

And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before

But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore

And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
You're not sorry, no, no, oh

You had me falling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade

So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for

And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
No, oh, no, oh, no oh

Whoa, no, no

anw,

2009-05-10T01:16:00.002+08:00

im level 180! woots!
20 more levels to go!
^^
other than that. im exhausted. phew.

confession.

2009-05-10T01:06:00.002+08:00

Here I am again
Talking to myself
Sitting at a red light,
Both hands on the wheel
How am I supposed to feel?
So much runnin' through my mind

First you wanna be free,
Now you say you need me,
Givin'mixed signals and signs
It's so hard to let you in
Thinkin' you might slam the brakes again

Put the pedal down
Headin out of town
Gotta make a getaway
The traffic in my brain is
Drivin' me insane
This is more than I can take
You tell me that you love me first,
Then throw your heart into reverse
I gotta getaway.

I can't keep comin' back to you,
Every time you're in the mood,
To whisper something sweet in my ear
It's so hard to move on,
'Cuz every time I think you're gone,
You show up in my rear view mirror

Is this just a detour?
'Cuz I gotta be sure
That you really mean what you say,
It's so hard to let you in,
Thinkin' you might slam the brakes again.

Put the pedal down
Heading out of town
Gotta make a getaway
The traffic in my brain's
Driving me insane
This is more than I can take
You tell me that you love me first,
Then throw your heart into reverse
I gotta getaway...

To a place where I
Can be redefined,
Where you're out of sight
And you're out of mind
But the truth is,
I can't even say goodbye.

Here I am again
Talkin' to myself
Sittin' at a red light
Both hands on the wheel
How am I supposed to feel?
So much runnin' through my mind

Put the pedal down
Headin out of town
Gotta make a getaway(A getaway)
The traffic in my brain's
Driving me insane
This is more than I can take(I can take)
You tell me that you love me first,
Then throw your heart into reverse
I gotta getaway

Pictures of you, pictures of me

2009-05-06T09:00:00.001+08:00

From LYRICSMODE.COM lyrics archive

Lyrics | The Last Goodnight lyrics - Pictures Of You lyrics

This is the clock upon the wall
This is the story of us all
This is the first sound of a newborn child,
Before he starts to crawl
This is the war that’s never won
This is a soldier and his gun
This is the mother waiting by the phone,
Praying for her son

(Chorus)
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

There is a drug that cures it all
Blocked by the governmental wall
We are the scientists inside the lab,
Just waiting for the call
This earthquake weather has got me shaking inside
I'm high up and dry

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

Confess to me, every secret moment
Every stolen promise you believed
Confess to me, all that lies between us
All that lies between you and me

We are the boxers in the ring
We are the bells that never sing
There is a title we can't win no matter
How hard we might swing

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we could have been

pissed.

2009-05-06T08:43:00.001+08:00

nothing more, nothing less.
im not invincible right?
why keep things from me..

and now, things cnt get ani better (: <333

2009-05-05T08:19:00.002+08:00

"Ill draw your arms around my waist
Then all doubt I shall erase
Ill paint the rain that softly lands on your wind-blown hair"

i found happiness.
or happiness f0und me. (:
<3333

*training mode*
ttyl! :D

when things cnt get ani worst..

2009-04-30T00:41:00.000+08:00

i died at full life, tio ress, then maple auto shut down.
wtf is wrong with my inernet??
already cannot train, now cannot ht too??

~breathe. im really tired. im going off early. hope tml will be a better day :(

as requested!

2009-04-29T17:50:00.002+08:00

".. introducing to you, MapleStory Episode 2!
The Porcupine pet! grab it nw! while stocks last!.."

"..i wasnt kidding when i said i was a killer.."

well, i guess the super old uncle quit his job.
so i meet this another cool uncle, and he Did the job!
i dont look like a nice guy..

lover and friend-

2009-04-29T02:17:00.004+08:00

However long you stay, is all that I am.

hmm. im currently on a roller coaster ride now.
life is full of ups and downs. haiz..
wish things could settle down a little.
phew! im tired! really drained.

school is a breeze. but everyone is changing.
people are paring up. people get stronger.
people change, and we know it (:

but i don't care, i already know whats comming.
it doesn't matter animore. its time for me to move on.
thannk you, for being here, dearest listener.

its not my place to dictate people's lives.
people should decide on their own,
and that will make then stronger!
i just dont belong here..

F> the new life.

"where are you,
my lover,my friend.
all i'm asking for is love,
but you never seem to have enough.."

if i close my eyes,
mabe things havent really change.
im still alone.
ive yet to find my key people..
its going to be to be a bumpy ride from here..

p.s. im going to cut my hair today.
if that super cool old uncle is still working ah.

here we go again!

2009-04-27T09:12:00.002+08:00

Please don't, don't make me sleep alone
If I could, I only want to make you smile,
Come on and stay with me a while (:

OK. so back from where we left.
i<3 jackie (: shes just the best la!
she makes everything worthwhile.
just wish i could help her more.. ><
thank God i found you :D

*Maple mode*
i got 2 free ring mule!
yay! now leveling to 200 isnt impossible afterall (:
im going to be top viper! yess ar!
grats saling on 180 too! you can do it! :D
i still havent decide on creating new guild/join existing guild.
hmmmm. how ar? haha

*School mode*
well.. studies so far so good.
we've been learning loads on the human body.
its like biology and its a super crash course.
we're from the engineer side,
But the expect us to know how the Heart works and so on.
Sadly, we was not taught bout that, in our first 2 years T_T
so the teacher keeps talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking,
while reminding us that its not her fault she need to rush.
sian.. thats so not helping! we need time!

also, there's a maple event this comming month.
and there's this new porcupine pet.
im thinking of buying it for her.. but.. will she like it?
CATCH OUT THE CONCLUDING EPISODE!
Poke-u-mine or Poke-u-not!?
same time same date, next month! haha! xD

anw, i cnt wait for the next movie night!
a walk to remember (:
its 10am nw. lab starts at 11am.
ive better go..
dont miss me, im always near ^^
im going to blog more tonight!
promise! :D

p.s. she says im cute. i think shes crazy. but i liike! XD HAHA!
chiao!

maybe you'll read this, and ill reappear..

2009-04-24T21:44:00.003+08:00

And for all that ill ever be.
Let me be, your darling boy.
Cherishing you, loving you free,
Precious heart, ill never toy.

This calamity, come what may,
ill fight for you.
Staying true, till my dying day,
Dearest love, let me protect you.

Girl, this is my heart wish,
And ill pray, it reaches you.
Hear my final wish,
Darling, i need you.

With these 2 ends,
ill tie a knot.
Though my heart bends,
to leave you be, i rather not..

-749. orginal poem

when a doctor heals his patient, who heals the doctor?

2009-04-24T08:48:00.003+08:00

Photo [Live] - Ryan Cabrera
A photo can say a thousand things
But it can't say the million things I wanna say
A photo can capture the way we were
But it can't capture the way we are
'Cause you're far away
What it's like to know you
What it's like to touch you

When you told me that you loved me
were those just words
You can't tell me you don't need me
and I know that hurts
'Cause I'm looking at your picture
'Cause it's all I've got
Maybe one day
You and me will have one more shot

Timing lost minutes and moments
And I might be lonely girl
But I'm not afraid
In a second
It all comes right back to me
Nothing's forgotten now
Yeah everything's saved
What it's like to touch you
What it's like to know you

When you told me that you loved me
were those just words
You can't tell me you don't need me
and I know that hurts
'Cause I'm looking at your picture
'Cause it's all I've got
Maybe one day
You and me will have one more shot

You were my life
you were my faith
You gave me hope every day

When you told me that you loved me
were those just words
You can't tell me you don't need me
and I know that hurts
'Cause I'm looking at your picture
'Cause it's all I've got
Maybe one day
You and me will have one more shot

maybe ill already know whats coming.
guess i couldn't make you see.

This chaos, this calamity,
this garden once was perfect.
This sea is wine red,
This is the death of beauty.
The doves have died,
The lovers have lied.
Was it worth, giving up halfway?

the biggest fool.

2009-04-22T09:04:00.002+08:00

Everybodys Fool - Evanescence
Perfect by nature
Icons of self indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that

Never was and never will be
Have you no shame? Don't you see me?
You know you've got everybody fooled

Look here she comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh how we love you
No flaws when you're pretending
But now I know she

Never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled

Without the mask, where will you hide?
Can't find yourself lost in your lie

I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore

It Never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled

It never was and never will be
You're not real and you can't save me
Somehow now you're everybody's fool

~ we need to be loved and not taken for granted..

We've gone and made such fools out of ourselves.

2009-04-21T15:15:00.003+08:00

this feeling, i can't decode.
its tearing me apart.
this hurt, its hard to bear.
yet, this feeling, i can't let go.
and i don't know what to do.
this hurt..
it hurts..

mumble jumble.
0% battery.

back to paper stuffings~

2009-04-21T06:16:00.003+08:00

Jackie - Metro Station
(edit XD)

"Now it's gonna get harder
and it's gonna burn brighter
and it's gonna feel tougher each and every day
so let me say, that i love you
you're all I've ever wanted."

i knw its not an original.. but
i <333 with this song man! goodness! hahax..
its soo much GOOD emotion and catchy too!
GOOD SHEEET RIGHT HERE! LOL.

ok back to the boring part.
school has started on 20.04.2009,
AND TO ME HORROR, THERES NO MATHS CLASS.
WhatTheFishFoodFattFk.
its my favourite subject. nuuuuuuuu.
my brain is going to rot man! arrrgh.
i miss maths subject <333
(mainly cos, its the only subject i can bully my friends at XD *evillll*)

moving on to the sad note.
ive been running on low batt these past few days.
my body is super tired. each time i wake up,
its like comming out of a sparring match,each time you wake up.
im nt sure why. mabe ive been holding on to bitter feelings.
*breathes ~ let go ~ breathes*
also, ive been seperated from my classmates of 2 years.
:(( cnt copy notes from them animore.
different class/ different subjects.
sadddddddd. *transform to guai mode*

ok, back on the happy side.
i <33 jackie xD
shes like, all you will ever need.
shes strong and proud.
hardworking and kind.
funny and never boring.
omg! *@$^$)*!@$)(@!^$)@!^)!*@
too many things lar..
you gotta know her in person!
no regretts okay!
no promises either! HAHA(joking XD)

"Hello im Avril Lavigne"
HAHA. CRAZY GIRL..
i want you so bad baby,
cos you make me feel so bad for having you :D

and then, the worrying side,
jackie lovesssssss to tease the ones closest to her.
thats good luh. the relationship will never get boring.
but, im just scare someone might go POP one day.
its not easy, to love someone, who bites back.
honestly. who many people ever tried taming a lion?
(lioness in this case :x )
and survived? :o
you can never know till you tried, or died. HAH!

now, the wishlist.
hmm. i havent really..
officially ask her to be mine yet.
everytime i try, she keeps shooting me.
BANG. BANG. *dies*
shes still getting over jason.
and her workload is getting more and more.
i wonder when is the right time yeah.

FINALLY, the Thinkers corner!
the plans to reach 200 is in the making.
so far, my school seems manageable.
i think, there is enough time.
just need to find a skele bs again.

p.s.
found this super old song.
Anxiety - Black Eyed Peas

"I feel like I wanna smack somebody
Turn around and bitch slap somebody
But I ain't goin' out bro (no, no, no)"

if you got the time to surf n lazy ard,
then thats the shit right thr. go find!

till next time peeps!
wheres the world that doesnt care?
make a wish and ill meet you there!
rashid x3 jackie~749~

2009-04-18T23:47:00.002+08:00

Bintangku.mp3 - Now Rest In Peace

pieces

2009-04-14T12:21:00.003+08:00

pieces - Sum 41

Wouldn't mind it
if you were by my side
But you're long gone,
yeah you're long gone now.

this is, OurStory (:

2009-04-13T18:23:00.002+08:00

ive decided. chiong 200!
but. thrs aloot of things i gotta sacrifice.
real life time, money, oppturnities. :(
+ in game money.
nvm. i can do this!

on the brighter side,
im hapieeeee :D im no longer the empty sot.
<33 saling, thats all i need. ^^

update more later tonight!
serious migrain ><

749! :D

immm backkk :D

2009-04-11T19:46:00.002+08:00

Friday, March 14, 2008

VS

11 April 2009~

thats how long i havent post!
okays. before someone kp me.
i shall post something! *grins*

10thApril2009
iCaptKrunchy takes the lead for Top viper in deph! :D woohoo!

other than that. ive nth to say.
school is going to start like SOON!!
OMG. WHATS MY AGE AGAIN?
HAHA.
shall update more later ;)
chiao!

ill be right here with you~

Let U Go

2008-03-14T12:44:00.002+08:00

Broken promises
But you don't really mind
It's not the first time and you know it
Don't you know
Tell me why it is you only smile inside
But when you break me into nothing
Don't you know
It's not like I haven't tried over and over again
Stupid fights, wrong or right
Goodbye

I remember when you came with me that night
We said forever, that you would never let me go
But here I am again
With nothing left inside
Know I don't wanna
But I gotta let you go

You're the one mistake I really didn't mind
So beautiful, unmerciful
It took me down
Too little and too late
See now I know your kind
You fake it easy just to please me
Don't you know
It's not like we haven't tried over and over again
Sleepless nights, wrong or right
Goodbye

I gotta let you go
It's you
There's nothing I can do

my heart's wish*

2008-03-03T13:39:00.002+08:00

come what may,
ill stay true till my dying days.
what you dont understand now,
will make sense in time.
and thats how i know,
i can trust my faith in you. (:

rashid,
this words make no sense now.

my pure raw feelings*

2008-02-24T23:17:00.002+08:00

Perfect by nature
Icons of self indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that

Never was and never will be
Have you no shame? Don't you see me?
You know you've got everybody fooled

Look here she comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh how we love you
No flaws when you're pretending
But now I know she

Never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled

Without the mask, where will you hide?
Can't find yourself lost in your lie

I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore

It Never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled

It never was and never will be
You're not real and you can't save me
Somehow now you're everybody's fool

ytd i smiled, i really meant it. (: *

2008-02-24T01:36:00.003+08:00

Over the sea and far away
She's waiting like an iceberg
Waiting to change
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like the water

All the muscles tighten in her face
Buries her soul in one embrace
They're one and the same
Just like water

And the fire fades away
Most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're the other side of the world to me

On comes the panic light
Holding on with fingers and feelings alike
But the time has come
To move along

And the fire fades away
Most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's to hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're the other side of the world

Can you help me
Can you let me go
And can you still love me
When you can't see me anymore

And the fire fades away
Most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're the other side of the world
'ou're the other side of the world
You're the other side of the world to me

omg. im in love this is song. lawl.
im happy. really happy.
haha! just laugh cos im happy! :D

-the life im lookin for. (:

hah @ myself

2008-02-23T03:46:00.002+08:00

I Can Wait Forever

i only got myself to fool (:

walk awa*

2008-02-22T09:21:00.003+08:00

this phobia. and thrs soo many voices.
i cnt think straight. lawl.

-the kill
Come, break me down.
Bury me, bury me,
I am finished with you.
Look in my eyes,
You're killing me, killing me,
And all I wanted was you.

baby lov*

2008-02-22T01:27:00.003+08:00

this feeling. haiya!! i cnt write.
so many things i want to say.
so many things i want to do.
but i cant. and ive no idea why.
haiz. i wan. i should be able to! i can! ):

i dont want to waste my time.. but.. haiya!!

small steps (:
i wanna grow away from here.
from this damn four walls.

vunerable*

2008-02-20T22:48:00.002+08:00

(:

another blank day.

we didnt manage to catch sweeney todd just now,
cos i didnt check the listing. haha.
thrs no more sweeney todd showing @ amk hub u know!

so me n twin caught KUng Fu Hustle instead.
haha. she treated me to the nachos this time.
next week, ill treat her to hotdogs.
i never tried those before =p

i wan to write more. lots lots more.
but im too tired. just cnt go on.
lawl. dunno whats wrong with me.

recovere*

title: Spirit Guides

2008-02-20T08:15:00.003+08:00

n frm now till then, ill dedicate my life just for that sweet moment. (:

ITS THE KICKBOXING TOURNAMENT FOR NOVICES LA! :D

i wan i wan. i wan play! i hope i can get selected then and thr!
i cnt wait! its wo de meng (:

i dunno why, but i seem to forget people easily these days.
like those important to me, became less significant.
like life moved on. over a week.
its not sumthin even magic can change.
perhaps this was the message.
ive done my best, i have no regretts. (:

and today is inez's birthday!
Happy birthday to you woman!
i think thrs a full moon today too! =D

im watching sweeney todd with xinyi later,
my stalker. haha. its wierd isnt it?
she suan me stalker, i suan her back,
and now we're watchin movies. lawl.

the forgotten.
It's you in the morning.
It's you in the night.

the pai*

2008-02-19T00:19:00.002+08:00

not all wounds are shown,
not all hurt are healed,
sumtimes you just cnt understand the pain sumone else feels.

im being honest. my insides hurts. i hate myself. ):

heavy breathing*

2008-02-18T00:58:00.002+08:00

i dun understand whats happening to me right now.
everything is just so fuzzy wuzzy. drained.
im gettin tired. sumtimes, the breathing gets hard.
i just get lost in the crowd. like im dissapearing.
am i even real? hahas...

my lil sis is goin for operation next month.
sumthin problem at her back.
i hope things will go smooth for her and us. jy! (:

im meetin xinyi(Tall) for dinner later,
before going to marcus's dad's wake.
i hope marcus is coping well.
he's a really great dude. serious. (:

my future's a fuzzy wuzzy too.
if i got mana, mabe i could see through it again.
hahas. i Dream! xD

-the enigma
i walk free.

speechless*

2008-02-17T01:58:00.002+08:00

just blank. no mood.

Lookin for a new Partner in Crime!

Gotta be:-

*Durable.
*Funny.
*Open minded.
*Able to operate 24/7

hahas. anithing find me @ 94999424. rashid
or msn @ blitz_boiz@Hotmail.com

lawls.

-the haiz.
am finally tired ><

dying off...*

2008-02-15T23:46:00.002+08:00

im out of mana. haha.
gotta recharge myself.

(:

title : random thoughts.

2008-02-15T01:59:00.003+08:00

my blog hardly contains things that normal people write. (:
so stop readin, thanks. hah.
what your lookin for, will never be here.
no worries, ill assure you that.
its personal , and dun bother makin an issue over it.
u wont be entertained.

-the breathless
Guess I'm wishing my life away,
With these things I'll never say.

the heart*

2008-02-14T09:41:00.004+08:00

wo xiang ni.

n u nvr bother.

i wondered. i really do.

perhaps all i did was fell in love with an image.
your image.

i just wan to be real. i wan real love.

but your image isnt. it keeps on changing.
so here i am. waittin fer nth.

idk what to do now.

cos u showed me love n then u turn me away.

i hope, one day youll return.

but being close to you, knowing you, understanding you, loving you.
i know now, u never would. u never do..

i remember the times, vividly in my mind.

and sumtimes, i wanna wish it all away n never remember anything bout u.

i served u, and therefore i am.

and i, therefore we are.

-the case study
me and the other self (:

title : this song dies tonight.

2008-02-13T10:07:00.000+08:00

hm. lets see. today im going back to school.
need study already ar~
the gang's waitting!
its bad enough that they cancle the class outtin becos of me.
*Must not let classmates down again!!!*

and im going meet iris later at 7, for movie.
hah. nervous? i guess so.
gonna be our first time meeting up. lol..

im late for school!
poof!

-the fully recovered!
today's the day i get myself back together! =D

to the friend whos in the position , that was never meant.
i done my best to try and do what you advise me ar.
it wont be my fault if anythin happens.
and this font size match your size, so yeah. haha!

false hoped*

2008-02-12T00:11:00.000+08:00

hahas. this random picture came to my mind suddenly.
so i drew it out. jean said it was a common image.
so yeah, pop goes my bubble @.@ . lawl.

i have no heartwish for the moment.
i put it through alot lately.
happi moments, sad moments.
need to rest my emotions for awhile.
or ill breakdown again.

and then, when a girl comes,
ill have to,
learn to trust again.
learn to open up again.
learn to love again.

this cycle, it never ends.
ill give and give,
rest up, and give again.
make people happy.
i want to do just that.
if only i understand more.
maybe i could keep on giving,
without the hurt.
keep up the cheer.

thats the life i lead.
i can never find love.
love has to find me.

its not something i could control yea?
believe me, i tried and i never intend to do it again~
the only thing i can do is to accept.
accept what life has to offer.

love hurts alot.
but still, everyone craves it.
something beyond understanding.
like fire,
its something i wont play with again. (:

the heartbroken,
rashid.

happiness*

2008-02-10T21:37:00.000+08:00

^^ i dunno why,
but im feeling happy today.
sincerely happy those type. haha.

sometimes dreams come true,
and we get really happy bout it.
sometimes only ba.. =]

tml work eh~
and im still sick.
what can i say?
i asked for it.
vroom3.

-the nose said,
'stop digging!!' @.@ LOL!

the sickness is gettin worst*

2008-02-09T23:54:00.000+08:00

i cn start to see blood in the phleme i give out.
this is bad and i have to start working on monday.
i dont wanna postpone my working days again.

crap sia. what to do, what to do. ><

tink ill sleep in early. as in early. like now. Lol.

good nite and sweet dreams to you! =D

-the illness
ill dream all the bad things away! (:

this is only the beginning*

2008-02-09T20:58:00.000+08:00

But I know the end is soon to come soon.
And i know, everyone has their own path.
We have to choose, or get left behind.
It hurts, but we understand more. (:

-the Conclusion
nver feel alone in this life.
we're all in this together.
look ard you, we're here. =]

with love,
the twos of miie (:

random equations*

2008-02-08T23:53:00.001+08:00

just stop. please stop.
we rather be alone than suffer that fate.
come what may, we just dont care no more.

it starts with a lie,
and splats like a pie.

pish splash, pew pew, poomb!

-the insane
dun worry,
nobody ever understands. (:

p.s. mum, your son loves you loads. dun have to worry on that. =]

the singular white crane by the canal*

2008-02-08T17:38:00.000+08:00

i woke up today by the all too famliar old feelin.
the aloneness, it grips me the same way,
over n over again. it screams.
it screams n you.......................
...................................................
..................................................
..................................................
..................................................

i wan to go back to the scence.
but thrs no way its possible now.
not with my current situation or status?

if i could have a wish,
ill wish it all back.
every single one of them.

is this what they meant by,
misery loves company? @.@

i remember back then,
when im so full of real friends,
but now, i realise,

are friends = constant or variable?

and then,
am i a variable aswell?
an option left to last.
i wonder how people preceive me.
kinda sad by that you knw..

i have to start studying again soon. =
exams!!!

-the free love kid
paint me black and forget me.

evol wohs

2008-02-08T04:28:00.001+08:00

.llitsdnats a ta s'dlrow ym
.eromyna od ot tahw wonk t'nod i
.em pleh .em dnif .enomus .deknalb tsuj
.efil rof ,uoy rof rht eb lli ll'dna em pleh

..exhsiwtraeh

-the missing.
im scared.

just us two*

2008-02-07T11:04:00.000+08:00

"Come what may ,
ill love you till my dying days."

haha. wish i could say those words and mean it,
to my significant other one day. lol.
but first! i need to find her first!
by fate or wudeva dat make love works.

requirements for a significant other:

Good hugger.
Good intuitive mind.
Open minded.
Cute n Prettay.
and Short too! xD

is that too much to ask for? ):

lawl. this is dumb. im a guy and im saying this stuffins T.T
zzz.

-the disowned
ill keep on wishing for a better tml~

we're actors, the great pretenders*

2008-02-06T00:19:00.000+08:00

thats me at the back!
ada is beside me,
and that clown is jean!
and ytd was jean's birthday!

happi bdae jean! haha.

aniwaes, i experienced all of fern's illness today.
well, i asked for it :)
spend too much time with her,
even though she was sicked. =x

the illness is irritating la.
i cant taste anything!
and jean was treating us @ indulgz.
crap sei. wasted! ):

then sumtimes both of my nosed got blocked,
could only breath through my mouth.
like now. haiz.

fern, if your readin this,

im veh sorry for not takin your health seriously enough.
really, nw im like this,
i knw hw it must have been for you. ):

aniwaes, fern told me that her painkillers were in my bag. lol.
sorry again! i must be a total jerk or sumthin ><

on the brighter side,
me n gang playyed pool till late !
its fun actualy, especially when its free ^^
haha. sponsored by the birthday girl, jean!

till then, then!

-the great pretenders
p.s. uevoli.

astrology*

2008-02-05T02:02:00.000+08:00

drop that subject , pleeeasse.
that thingy ruined my life once,
ill never wanna think bout that again!

fern said sumthin funny today,

i wan a nice guy who is not too nice,

mathematically, in my mind, it was;

nice.guy + notnice.guy = 0

let *not* be negative,

nice.guy - nice.guy = 0
nice.guy = nice.guy
guy = guy
1 = guy/guy
1=1

so yeah, 1=1 is true, so what she said is true.
but.. i dont get it. it equation make sense, but..
if you want a guy, just say so alrite?
without the coefficients, thanks!
who knws hw many people cnt pass algebra!
poor them!

=p

lawl. this post makes no sense. period.

-the sleep
zzz..

makes me wonder*

2008-02-04T05:45:00.000+08:00

when one's person needs are unfulfilled,
conflicts are bound to occur.

untill that small portion is solved,
the relationship will have nowhere to go.

nver been mre freakin lonely nw,
i really should have listened to em, back then.

"Give me something to believe in,
Cause I don't believe in you, Anymore."

im so stubborn! damn ><

-the regretts and sorrowful
me._.

wish opon a star*

2008-02-02T11:30:00.000+08:00

i wish i knew true love.
like those in a fairy tale.
when the boy love the girl,
then the girl, love the boy back.
then ee-orh, vrooom3, peepop,
happily ever after.
hahas. im HIGH! x)

" ..a wish for a wish,
if you wan a wish boo,
then ill grant your wish,
if you grant mine too.. (: "

-the unexpected.
ahChhoo! ><

sumthin un-understandable

2008-02-01T07:20:00.000+08:00

good morning!

so its all that just for that?
vrooom3.

when did i became so weak?
am ashame of myself =[

i wan my heartwishex..

-the teary n poser
xin tong

numb*

2008-01-31T07:18:00.000+08:00

yo*

2008-01-31T06:33:00.000+08:00

believe me, im happy now. (:

but inside,
ive never been more torn.
nver been more hurt. :'(

we nevr asked to be played,
nor did you asked yourself in,
but why do our hearts feel betrayed?

i remember tears falling cos i couldnt decide.
remembering things,
why didnt i walk away.
why i choosed to overlooked.
why i choosed to open up to you.
and why didnt i listen to them.
who knew, they cared more for me than you do.

will my pain end?
its not your fault,
nver you.

its me (:
im impossible, yea.
remembering the times,
i guess it wasnt worth it all.

these voices,
they sum up and say,
just leave me alone.

-the hurt and finally.
find me a heart shaped box,
keep my heart safe for me, thanks ((:

no lov*

the twin

2008-01-30T14:40:00.000+08:00

"..I wont let you control my fate,
While I'm holding the weight of the world on my conscience.
I wont just sit here and wait while you weighin your options.
Your makin a fool of me.
You didn't dare to try and say you don't care,
And solemnly swear not to follow me there.
It aint like me to beg on my knees,
Or, please oh baby please,
That's not how I'm doin things.
No I'm not upset, no I'm not angry,
I know love is love and love sometimes, it doesn't pay me.
I'm never without you, I'll always be with you.
You'll never forget me, I'm keeping you with me.
I wont let you take me to the end of my row,
Or keep burning and torching my soul.
No I'm not your puppet,
And no, no, no, I wont let you go. .."

end ~

th3 tw!n-

Autocaddddddd~~~~-#$%^&()&^$^&()&%

2007-11-28T14:13:00.000+08:00

=]

cold. soo cold.
autocad is cold lesson.
cold. cold soo cold.
autocad is a cool lesson.

the freezing,
lazy eyes-

prayer for the unsound ((:*

2007-11-26T07:29:00.000+08:00

^^

convict-

memorial for the dead and fallen*

2007-11-25T09:30:00.000+08:00

BOO!~ =D

today went to buy contact lenses!
been wantin em for kickboxing r.
cnt fite properlly with no eyes ah.

i went to pei my mum to the wet market @ geylang as well.
its been years since i did that.
memories =]

went home an hour laterr,
and to my much DISMAY,
i cnt seem to put em contacts on ><
my eyes too small eh. sian bo? =/

hm, meet up with fern @ vivo afterwards.
donuts! kfc! and bad emoood~
dat sums everything up. lol ..

went to send her home afterwards,
and meet Dilan(?) frm kickboxing on the bus.
the dudes a pro eh.just got back from Batam with felicia.
woot2~ i FEEL those dudes are gonna get married sumday.
101% compatibality. lols.

talk talk,
chat chat,
i THINK fern did a good job at quiteing him though.
fern ah fern, bad mood must learn to control eh.
innocent people o..

lol.. i still didnt find a job though.
sianz.. pray hard to find one that suits my fancy though =]
till then! tata~

feelin happy, feelin lost.
but who cares.
caring is sucha waste of emotions =]

the deceitful,
<3 the ones who kept my happiness at its brim ((:

re-emergence of teh clone*

2007-08-14T04:00:00.000+08:00

i seriously need to stop hearing these old voices.
they are drivin me MADDD!~~~

grim angels*

2007-08-14T02:51:00.000+08:00

man.. this sickness is killin me.
i cnt remembber teh last time i was healthy. lol.
i jusst dont get it..
i seriously need to seriously start being serious bout my life.
its serious!
oh and that blue black thing? its my heart.
i pluck it out when it stopped beating.
i find emotions to be a hinder n exhausting.
completely inpractical to bear.

have you ever had the feelin of all your dreams being crushed?
try hoping sumthin for 18 months and see it flush dwn the bowl in a night and thrs nothing you cn do bout it.
enjoy.

killer2.

teh Now*

2007-08-12T15:41:00.000+08:00

Let the music bring your soul to Fly;
rest is waiiting fer you thr.
Paradise is found;
love will always be abound.

I followed my heart;
and it lead me to you.
Please dont tell me nw;
dat my heart aint true.

Fer all the hearts that still holds true;
to never let go.
Its callin, Boo.

the lonely n misery,
me.

i really dont knw..*

2007-08-12T00:05:00.000+08:00

hm. was at a gig @ L-Cube organised by DollTrash.
twas pretty cool. gogo local bands!
they were Psychedelic 4, Spyglass Avenue,Leaven Trait,
Son of the Bleach, Vertical Rush n the organising band, DollTrash! haha

juz an xtra info:
i knw that Psychedelic 4 has been on radio interview.
inez!! when are you going on radio? haha.

the gig was 5-9pm. 4 hours man!
i left home at 3.30pm n reached exactly at 5.
its kinda amazing.
ive never been to the place before,
but i manage to find it by wandering about O.o
from SengKang > Tanjong Katong.
i have a sense of direction in singapore! ^^ haha!

hm. i audience(ed?) thr till DT finished their set,
which is at 8.15, ard thr ba.
couldnt find inez, so i just wandered again to find the mrt station.

everythin is so different now,
and i dont like the change at all.
but what right do i have to give a say? =(

went to marina bay after that.
need check to see for halal food places thr.
by orders of Fern T,T
lol. it was fun though!
a test of faith!

i walked all the way from marina mrt to the marina south.
Without taking a bus,
and then walk back again.
ulu sia. thrs like nobody ard you.
only vechicles passing by at some occasion.
i started walkin at 9pm.
very dark. lol.
almost tot will tio encounter with the ahem. =x
hush. haha.

found that thrs only 1 malay stall at marina south.
sad. after that continue exploring at raffles.
i knw thrs a place thr.
eatten thr during national day night,2 years back.
with the old pals.end up,couldnt find it.
xin tong.was too tired by then.
anyone knws a halal food stall that serves steamboat in sg?msg me plz!

walk back to raffles n board the train.
meet hidayah n lyana ( srry if misspell!!)
my second olevels classmates n
former mordern dance members ^^
small world we live in eh? haha.
see you gals on tchers day!

during the whole event of today,
ive been thinkin of my love life n hw shitty i made it become.
i dont knw who to turn to anymore.
every time i decide,
thrs bound to be something or someone resisting me.
hey , like whats the plan?
im getting more n more lost the mre i think bout it.
haiz then,am i too lost to be found?
tell me, have you ever been alone in a crowded room?

even the stars fall from the burden of everyone's wishes..

free love,
convict.

Ant Killer*

2007-08-11T12:21:00.000+08:00

explore singapore. i need find halal steamboat places. lmao @ me.

hey, my head aint your home.

killer2.

Chaos Day*

2007-08-10T01:11:00.000+08:00

man! idk why am i soo drained of myself these days.
n i found out that i seriously SUX AT DOTA. lol.
crap sia.dota cannot be my hobby.
hecks, im so high i could fly. lol.
should i? should i not? why bother?
weeheeee. till i get my senses back then, tata!

btw,HEY YOU. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

killer2.

p.s. oh and, hey Singapore, happi belated.

old school rawks!

2007-08-08T16:06:00.000+08:00

haha. today is amazin!
i auto woke up intime to prepare myslf to go to the nvss concert. haha!

the kiddy performance was funny!
3 bands perform,
one of em played beautiful lie - 30seconds to mars,
abit messed up though,
then thr was this band played digimon theme song sia!
like omg,that song is ancient!
n they got first place for best band! lol!!!
good choice!
(forget the 3rd one =x)

+ they were using electic guitars!
during my time at school,
thats like a previellage la. lol.

modern dance did a great job as well.
never seen the nvss troop so power!
good job mdm zu( issit hw you spell that? im nt sure x= )
i miss being in thr sometimes though =\
haha. ah well.
i THINK i made peace with the dance tcer-in-charge just now.
long time cold shoulder sia. lol.
and i think i did it right ^^

p.s. to other dancers nt in modern dance, keep it up. lol.

meet alooot of old friends.
too many to write thier names here.
miss them alot too.
most of em keep askin me if i had been workin out or suthin.
lol @ them. eat meat la,then go jogging. fast muscles! ( to me ah.. haha)

the leap from secondary school to poly life is amazing.
before in sec school , your just a kid next door.
the next moment, you become an adult in just a matter of months.
people change indeed!

n wow.like after 5 years of having her teachin me malay( 5 years man!! )
mdm lina is pregnent! <3 her teaching yo. lol.
n she also said im bigger now. haha.
good luck with your pregnancy cikgu!
+ thanks for all you taught me!!
(even though i score a consistence C6, 4 times for my o levels papers T.T)
i did try my best =)

after that ,went out lunch with jean n her wierd company.
lol. some strong funniness her friends are. haha.
cya guys on tchers day!!

overall,twas a happi day ba.
settle some matters with myself in the end.
i like it ,but veh tiring. i need sleep now. =)
tata titi tutu!~~ ( lol @ ada ) xD

other self, who are you,really? o,O

convict.

dead people*

2007-08-08T00:02:00.000+08:00

im down. veh down.
the sudden quietness in ma head is .. unnerving.
go away quiet...
whr did all teh happi people go?
what happen to all the happi pasts?
teh hurt is gone,
and so are the memories.
whr did YOU go?
im fogged.
so blind.
haiz.
im driftin.
driftin again..
wheeeee~~

tml going back old school! yay for being a kid again! :D

other self, idk wud ill do if thrs no you.

killer2.

sick-ing*

2007-08-07T09:40:00.000+08:00

no idea y i cnt study. dun wan tio retain again!
lalalalallalalalallaala.
lalaalalalalalalalalala.
lalalalalallaalalalalaa.
end.
maybe tml im goin old school to see their ndp. kids. LOL.

blank. just blank.
have no idea whats happenning/to do/i should have done/will happen.
idk who to turn to!

convict.

keepin teh faith*

2007-08-05T20:09:00.000+08:00

last nites outting is tiring. lol.
haiz. something's misssing.
or mabe im missin somone. =\
slept the whole day today waittin fer a reply.
ah well,ill keep waittin then.

oh no! thrs school tml! >< ok.
goin to my auntie's house to get some cheesecake.
i liikkkkkeeee! ^^

let em be ba. they didn't care bout us anyway.

convict.

true!*

2007-08-05T00:43:00.000+08:00

baybeat 2007 is HOT!!!
bands!
flying shoes!
flying drumsticks!
flying people! (serious. lOl.)
mosh!
chicks!
mosh + chicks = hot!!!!!
mosh + chicks + me = xxx !!!!! (i mean hot. lol)
haha!!!
dangerous!!
but still,teh bands were dope-est!
i like!
thanks zim!
hunry!
smelly!
sleepy!

good day n good nite!

convict. ....!!

BayBeats here i comee!*

2007-08-04T13:51:00.000+08:00

today goin to baybeats with zimmy.
i have noidea wud it is but wadda hell.
BoooOOooooooorwed.
i need to get a defined hobby =)
report in later tonite then!!

but no reply? =(

killer2
dis wud i do when im bored

killer2
i wan make the spikes longer xD
end of year hair cut baby! lols.

dunno why im reciting gang poems in my head*

2007-08-03T23:04:00.001+08:00

sorry sugi. lol.you made me smile. so cheer up. ^^
cp today was disastorous!
loon n sugi group did soo much work,then tio scolding.
me n ivan didn't do anuything,tio nothing. =x
christina n sun jie group the best though.
i think they tio full marks.lol.
gogo WCG!!
(World China Gang! haha! sorry if your reading this gals! xD )
haha.i do feel feel guilty for not putting
a single effort in ComputerProgramming though.
SORRY DR ZHU CB! xD
but wth. i understand no nuts hes speakin. hahaaha.

and y da hell do i need to pay to see the celebration of my own country?#*&@$*()@^#$&*#^@$

killer2

A.S.M.

2007-08-03T12:41:00.000+08:00

Anti Sugi Monst@r! haha.
dat means you sugi! xD

sweetest lullaby.

killer2.

Floor Art Core

2007-08-02T19:40:00.000+08:00

bak! school is getting funnier.
im seriously starting to slack yet dat old dr choo cb said i got an IQ of over a thousand for answerin his qns.
LOL @ dat old man.
ill see his reaction when i present him nth for his presentation tml * sniggers* xD
im tryin to start grafitting again.
startin to miss those times from F.A.C... =\
i wonder what had happen to the rest of the crew.. ..

still.. im soo happi today! =D

<<

convict.

the morning found me ,laughing*

2007-08-02T10:12:00.000+08:00

go away sickness.i didnt ask for that.
n wassup with the ants crawling all over the place
massacre! >.>
im chillin. takin life as slow as possible.
happi x)

its scary once you start having fantasies with the knife.

convict.

i wan OUT!!*

2007-08-02T00:01:00.000+08:00

life i guess.
i wonder whats gonna happen nw.
running very low on the optiions.
In another place and time.
it all falls back to the fact that im forcing events again.
haiya!

ive been on the other side for far too long.

killer2.

half the time, i dont knw who these voices belong to*

2007-08-01T21:03:00.000+08:00

haiz. nite times are always so boowing.
idk y i feel drained all the time.
eeeemmoooooooooooooooooooooo.
if i were a robot,
then i wont feel,
then ill be less drained
then i cn do mre werk.
teh heart cn be so troubling at times.
bad u heart,bad u!
yawns*

SHUT UP.

convict.

im so Hungareeeee!! rawr*

2007-08-01T17:16:00.001+08:00

lolol. hen lei. its 01/08/07!
i shall build my empire here,today! muahahaha.
its been like sooooooo long >.<
who would have knew that ill end up in this silly old poly?
amusing.im still alive!

still no word.

killer2.

mic test*

2007-08-01T17:16:00.000+08:00

testin testin 1,2,3.
hey deejay,hit the beat!^^